As You Are

About 5 years ago, I moved back to Seattle after spending a few years living in the South East. In my mind, the move back to Seattle was temporary. I would just be here for the next nine months to complete an internship and then back on my way to the South, at least that was my plan. 

I remember the first time I saw the Seattle skyline when I was driving into the city for the first time since moving back. I immediately felt the Lord speak to my spirit, “you will stay here and you will work for this ministry.” 

For me, that statement was devastating. Though a Seattle native, it’s never really been a city that I loved. I’ve always found it difficult. Like I’ve never quite fit, if that makes sense. I always felt more home in the south. I felt welcomed, as if I belonged, as if it’s where I was meant to be all along.

And still, I’ve stayed. 

Why? Because I believe it’s what the Lord spoke to me, and I desire surrender to what I believe is God’s voice and will more than I value my own preferences.

Over the years, serving “this” ministry has taken multiple forms, however, it’s always revolved around the Greater Seattle Area. And while I’ve stayed put, the Lord started to show me this year that my heart hasn’t really been in it. Physically, I’ve been here, but mentally? Spiritually? Emotionally? I’ve had one foot out the door just waiting for my opportunity to leave. And the Lord spoke something to me this spring that has been a mantra of mine this year: 

“Taylor, it’s time to unpack.”

Oof. Now if that isn’t a gut punch. I realized that I’ve been here, but I haven’t been here. My bags have been packed, just waiting to run whenever the opportunity feels right. Frankly, that’s always been my default—to run, to find the next adventure, to not put down roots. Life has always felt fun and easy when I’ve lived this way, but it’s always lacked depth, true roots. 

And as terrifying as it is, I believe here, in this city, is where I’m meant to put down roots (at least for now), and I have to be all in on that without having a back up plan. 

So…what has it looked like for me to unpack? 

1. Praying for a Heart for This City:

I believe that if God places you somewhere, He will give you a heart to love that place and the people. I’ve seen Him do this time and time again in my life, and so that’s where I started. The last 6ish months have been me consistently asking the Lord to give me a heart for this city and these people. To see where I am through His eyes. To see where the needs are and how I can partner with Him to fill some of those needs.

Practically what does that look like?

• Taking prayer walks and praying for the city and the people I see on my walks. I’ve prayed things like, “Lord, I pray for everyone within that building. I pray You would give them a fresh revelation of Your Spirit. I pray anyone who feels alone, would feel the comfort of Your Presence. I pray that those who are having a good day would continue to have a good day. And I pray that everyone would see the gifts of provision You have provided them.”
• Spending time in my city. I’ve spent time checking out local restaurants, shops, businesses, etc. I’ve been getting to know the people who work there, their stories, their interests, etc. I’ve been frequenting a coffee shop and now a few of the baristas know me by name and I know them by name, and it’s been sweet to build relationships with them, to know who they are and what they’re passionate about. It’s allowed me to pray specifically for them. 
• GIVE. I’ve been giving to causes that benefit the people in need in my city—this can be finances, time, resources, prayers, etc. Whatever you have the ability to give, give. It has softened my heart to this city. 

2. Finding God Where I Was:

If you’re not familiar, Washington state is one of the least religious and least unchurched states in the U.S. As a result, it can sometimes feel discouraging for me in my faith because I can’t help but think, “Lord, where are you here?! Where are the people who think and believe what I believe?!” It can feel very isolating and silencing at times. 

But still, I started praying, “Lord, help me find You here and help me find the people here who love You.” And guess what? He really showed up. God IS here in the PNW, and there are absolutely people on FIRE for Jesus. Here are a few organizations/ministries in the area that I love for people in their 20s/early 30s: 

• Reach 20s/30s—a ministry for folks in their 20s/30s to come together to build community and also go deeper in discussing topics of faith that are relevant to our stage of life. Ex: Faith + The Workplace, Faith + Surrender, Faith + Friendship, Faith + Politics, Faith + Dating, ex. 
• The Finding—Another young adult ministry. They do Tuesday night bible studies/worship (this is geared specifically for people 18-30ish), and they also do devotional nights every other Thursday where you can come pray, journal, worship, etc., a monthly worship night, and an annual conference (these last 3 are open to anyone). 
• Make Jesus Known—A ministry geared toward young adults that hosts hangouts and worship nights. They also recently hosted their first conference to equip Christians in the greater Seattle area!
• Adoration House—A House of prayer in the city of Seattle! They exist as a place for all to come and behold Jesus in prayer and communion. It is absolutely beautiful. 

You might be wondering, “Taylor, how did you even go about finding these?” I would say it was a few things:

• I started ASKING.
  •  If I saw someone post about a gathering related to Jesus, I would ask about it. That’s how I found The Finding and Adoration House. 
  • If I was around other believers I would ask if they had any other faith-based activities they attended outside of a Sunday, etc. 
• I started SEEKING. We must get curious and intentional about what we want to see. That’s how I found Make Jesus Known. They popped up for me while looking on Instagram. 
• I TRUSTED that God would place the right opportunities in my life. That’s what Reach 20s/30s has been for me. 

3. I Got Serious About Building Community: 

In failing to unpack, I failed to build deeply rooted relationships. I had a lot of surface level, causal relationships, but I hadn’t allowed myself to be truly known by people. I think a good way to tell if you really have people is: if you’re having one of those days where the world feels like too much and you don’t know what to do, who do you call? I have a few of those friends, but they’re all friends I’ve had for years and friends that don’t live nearby. While I had people, I didn’t have people. If that makes sense? Those people I would call aren’t the people I’m doing daily life with, you know? I knew I was in need of people that I was doing daily life with. 

So…how have I gone about building that community of people I do daily life with? Honestly, that’s a whole post in itself (coming soon), but I will give you the high level overview: 

• I joined a small group and I was CONSISTENT about it. When I first joined my small group I was absolutely that one person who inconsistently showed up (lol, oops), but I knew the Lord wanted me to show up. I felt like He was saying, “just give Me six months.” So I kept showing up and now it’s been 8 months of consistency, and I can without a doubt say it was worth it. I have a community of gals I get to spend every Thursday night with where we laugh, connect, have fun, and also go deep, pray, and grow closer to the Lord together. 
• I started hosting events at my place! I wanted to be a connector in my church community, because I figured if I felt like I was missing community, I’m sure other people felt the same way, too. So I started hosting craft nights, tv show viewing parties (Bachelor/Bachelorette, anyone?), etc., and it’s been such a fun way to bring gals together! It’s helped me develop relationships and it’s also helped those invited create new connections, too. 🙂
• I Found My Few. It’s super fun to connect with a bunch of gals regularly, however, it’s important to find your few. Think about it: Jesus had his 12, of his 12, he had his 3 (Peter, James, and John), and of the 3, he had his 1 (John). It’s not possible for us to maintain 20 to 30 relationships well. At best, 12, but realistically, we have about 3 people we can truly go deep with. So, I’ve focused on finding my few—the people I truly want to do daily life with, those I can be open and vulnerable with, and those that I feel like will call me higher and point me closer to the Lord. 
• I Sought Mentorship. This one was scary to do! It’s intimidating to approach someone older than you and say, “hey, I admire you and your faith. I feel like I could learn a lot from you. Can we get coffee?” SCARY! However, I can say it was worth overcoming the fear to seek mentorship. I now have a few women older than me who regularly invest into me, my faith, and where I feel like the Lord is leading me. It’s truly been such a gift, and I’m so thankful for the blessing of each of them in my life. They’ve truly built my faith and my confidence in myself. 

The TLDR of all of this is to say: As I’ve partnered with God to truly unpack, I’ve realized that this place, this city, can in fact be home. Actually, it is my home. 

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard to accept that still some days. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a desire that creeps up every once in a while that wants to pack up everything and run. But when those moments come, I submit them to Him. 

You see, in those moments, I know it’s just fear creeping up. Fear of staying, fear of what happens if I stay, fear of the unknown, etc. I’ve never stayed somewhere long enough to see what happens when you truly unpack, and for the first time in my life, I’m finally ready to find out.